Spar Fun

I was so bored at work the other night that I got a pen, a piece of
paper and a box of porridge to lean on and walked around the shop
writing out a list.

:-p

After that I went and stocked out the ultimate product.

ALL HAIL SUPREME PEAS!

Pity the blind ones though.

Oh and speaking of which.

After
Harrison suggested that I use a potato as Calvins best friend, what
should I find at work but an oddly shaped potato that was just asking
for some fancy graphical enhancement.

This
adorable chap has since been adopted by the hot-food counter cook
Linda,  who hadn’t the heart to peel him and named him Wilson.
However
this has caused some concern among the staff as she can regularly be
heard talking to Wilson and referring to him as “my only friend”. We
fear it is just a matter of time before he rots or is lost at sea and
when those chips are down, someone will indeed be saying “sorry” to
Wilson.

Do you hate going to the loo at work?  Because I sure do.

It’s
cramped, cold, the hot water never works, you occasionally get locked
in by the old trolley under the door handle ploy and the one occasion
when you have irritable bowels this happens.

Stock Photography

I have decided to make an attempt at stock photography, that is producing images with a general theme that could be used by people on websites or on publications or where ever else generic images are required.

Sites such as istockphoto or bigstockphoto allow you to set up an account through which you can sell your images.

Every time an image is downloaded you get paid between a few pence to a couple of quid depending on the image size required. So a decent stock of images, which would require some initial work would then stay on the site making you money.

That said, it’s actually quite hard to get your images onto these sites as they are quite specific about what sorts of images they will use.
Most of the photographs on my Flickr would not be considered useful for stock images so this is new ground for me.

Corporate images as well as images on clean white backgrounds are popular and as I am not going to go hire models for corporate images the latter is what I am going for.

To this end I have build myself a miniature studio complete with an off camera flash setup and two lamps.

I built this in the garden shed from scrap bits of wood that were lying around.I cut a piece of chipboard in half and glued and screwed it together to form the base and back.
Two pieces of plywood were used for the sides and the joins all taped over with masking tape so that they wouldn’t show in images.
A block of wood with a slit in it was attached to the top for holding a basic reflector made from a cereal box and tin foil.
The inside of the box was sprayed with multiple layers of white paint.
The lamps I bought in Poundstrechers for £3.49 each and each has a 60watt bulb, I also made diffusers for these with grease paper.
The off camera flash is a old vivitar flash I had lying around and is triggered by a weak flash from the camera using a photo slave cell (basically a wee box that clips onto the flash which makes it fire when it detects another flash).

The whole setup cost me less than £15 to make.

I haven’t experimented with the lamps setup much yet but using the Flash with the the “studio” allows me to take nearly shadowless images of objects or ones with nice soft shadows.

This is pretty much the image out of the camera with the colours adjusted slightly.

My next step is to learn how to use this set up well to produce images that people will want to buy , get them uploaded and hopefully watch the money trickle in.
I see this as more of a benefit to me than trying to make money from selling big prints of landscapes or portraits as I will be able to add “Stock Photographer” to my CV when trying to get a job in multimedia.

Any ideas for good images are very very welcome as that is the hardest part, read this for what sort of images are required .

Please note that I am not limiting myself to only images shot within my mini studio so I am open to a wide range of ideas. Oh and thanks to Louise for her list.

Here is my list of ideas so far to give you an idea:

• Butterfly.
• Hands.
• Keyboard.
• Sihouettes.
• Bullseye.
• Wet spider web.
• Marbles.
• Whistle.
• Dice and counters.
• Paperclips.
• Sugar Cubes.
• Pasta.
• Fruit.

Happy Birthday to me.

Well it is in about 10 days time anyway.

But of course not being one with a lot of patience I went and got my birthday present early and am hoping that my family and friends all give me a little something towards it because otherwise I cant really justify buying it. Especially after weeks of me constantly complaining about being broke.

<–well what did you buy num nuts?–>

Oh right yeah, sorry.

I bought myself an Olympus E-420 digital SLR, as a dual lens kit with a 14-42mm lens and a 40-150mm lens. (For those into photography that gives me in 35mm terms 28-300mm coverage)

I have been following the progress of this particular model for some months now. One of the things that had been stopping me from buying a D-SLR before, apart from cost, was the fact that they tended to be big and heavy. This camera on the other hand is the worlds smallest digital SLR, using a special system designed for digital that allows it to have much smaller lenses than used by other brands.

At some point I hope to get the 25mm f2.8 prime lens that Olympus released with the camera as this lens makes it small enough to fit in a pocket.

Now thats sexy.

<–you find a camera sexy? think there’s a phrase for that, “electrophile” or something–>

Heres a couple of pics I snapped with my new camera.

Daisys out in our front garden. (warning technical stuff)  Shot this with a standard wide-angle zoom lens using a close-up adaptor.
This meant I was able to focus closer but still have the wide-angle of the lens allowing me to capture more background detail. Unlike using a macro lens which would have limited the field of view. Shot it in RAW converted to TIFF in Olympus Studio and edited in Photoshop(technical stuff over). Thanks to Practical Photography mag for the idea.

Another cat pic, I would take more pictures of our dog but its near impossible to get her to stay in the one place.

Need to make me a reflector.

Keep checking out my Flickr page as now I have an SLR I intend to dabble in a wider range of photography areas.

Anyway  back to my non photography world.

I finished Uniabout six weeks ago and since then have been working in Spar over thirty hours a week and thanks to some annoying five hour shifts and a lot of evening shifts I have had very few completely free days. Thankfully last week and next week to rota is better with me working full shifts the days I’m on, which gave me a couple of full days off.

Discovered that I am surprisingly better at the early morning shifts (7am-3pm) which being a night person surprised me.

In the free time I have over the summer I have a few projects I hope to work on.

• Three possible websites, one of these being a revamp of my SteveDesign site as I dont really like it.
• Learning to use Joomla, an open source Content Management System (CMS).
• Learn Visual Basic 6 as I sure didn’t learn it in the module we did this year and its one of our first modules next year and I’d like to know what I’m doing this time.
• Improve my photography and perhaps figure out a way of actually making money from it.
• Create an online comic using photography in the style of Violent Veg.

So far I have created one character, and thats Calvin the blind pea, although he will have a good friend called John who is yet to be invented.

Well I’m off to work in jolly old Spar.

Chavs N Fire

So tonight the young bucks of Kells realised that the rubber material on the ground of the local play park was flammable…

The blazing inferno from my back yard. I now realise I badly need a proper SLR for this kind of night shoot.

The offending blaze.

The brave lads of the Northern Ireland Fire service.

And its gone.

I had considered going over with a bucket of water but was informed the fire service were on their way and didn’t want to spoil their evenings entertainment.

IMD Year 1- A pictorial journey.

Excluding next Thursdays exam, that’s me pretty much finished for the Summer. I can’t believe just how fast it has gone in, although saying that, it seems like a lifetime ago that I was doing Technology with Design.

Anyway I finally got round to taking the photos off my mobile phone, here are a few of the more significant, amusing and completely irelevant ones.

This was the common site on any morning that I had to get to Uni for 9:15, the problem being the railway crossing up ahead which had several trains crossing at this time of morning.

One of the more surreal days at the art college. Apparently an example of very good graphic design, I was wondering when the guys in the pointy white hats would turn up.

Me taking the mick out of our coursework assignment to produce a series of posters for Translink Rail service.

It was about this time I admitted I had a problem.

My workspace when all the computers in the lab were taken.

That guy who looked like me with the same name.

Got bored one night and noticed the Elmo doll that out dog had chewed up...

Kells Presbyterian Youth Fellowship doing what they do worst, practicing singing for a service. I'm not saying they can't sing, I'm saying they can't practice.

Everything on that table was eaten by me in a single night, needless to say the combination of fruit, pickles and meat made for some very interesting smells...

Andy at work tipped the mop bucket and we spent about an hour soaking it up with green hand towels.

Driving too fast in snow while taking pictures is as tricky as you might think.

The day I discovered Norovirus was in the house, oh the mess that followed.

A typical encounter with our schizophrenic cat.

The lovely view from till No.2. Hehe that rhymes.

Cheapest lunch at work, all this for 75p, Needless to say it was utterly foul.

The time I tried to hide my unwanted pea soup under the cats' food.

Raiding the fridge in the early hours produces some unusual results.

Revising for my class test during the morning traffic jam.

The day my printer peeved me off and I gave it a kicking.

Two terrible sequels later and I decided it was for the best.

The Sunday Aaron feel asleep in church, also the Sunday i forgot my phone makes a noise when taking a photo.

The day of the Adventure to that place that we had to leave quickly for some undisclosed reason. Those involved know exactly what I mean.

Got bored while tidying the Munchies at work.

The fake parking ticket I stuck on the back of a girls' car after her and her friends abandoned it at the Spar and walked off to the chippy. 20mins later I had to tell the near tearfull girl to go read the back of the ticket: "just kidding"

Louise and me clearly having fun driving around the coast. I appear to have "sharted" as the photo was being taken.

Was very tempted to buy this and hide them in various places in peoples bathrooms.

The brown tape man I made at work and the ensueing note-based slagging match over the "sadness" of producing such an item.

The dirty big hole that appeared in my tyre, potentially killing me several times.

Teaching the dog bad habits.

My workspace for the 10 hours stint I spent on day working on my Star Wars typography project. Which reminds me check the video at the bottom of the page.

My MEGA SALAD I made yesterday for Lou and me.

Stephen and airsoft pistol- 1, filthy scum bloated fly-0. I should probably meintion that the BB rebounded and hit me in the throat.

Finally, for this post anyway, heres my finished animation project for my design module. Enjoy.

Novel Ways of Dealing with Too Much Heat- No.1

The 3 sec fully clothed cold shower, boths cools you down and wakes you up.

New Revolutionary Computing Platform

Today I came across a new revolutionary computing platform, currently codenamed “G Hut”.

Heres a screenshot.

Key features of this platform far extend beyond those of current generation platforms, this includes:

• Superb ultilisation of the ultimate air cooling system, currently being refered to as “atmosphere” with its “summer breeze” booster system.
• Built in side lights for night-time illumination of the keyboard.
• Organisational unit for managing key computing needs such as, coffee, pens and notebooks.
• Adjustable support platform technology, which has the current mysterious codename of “bit of hardboard I found in the shed”
• Entire unit is supported about 30mm from ground level to help air flow.
• Five-way light shielding to reduce glare on the units’ screen.
• Optional door.
• Two-piece comfort seating option for operator, known as “mums cushions from the living room”

As this system is still at alpha stage there are a few problems that will need to be worked out before it can go into mass production.

• Splinters, these have been known to cause operator discomfort in the back-end of the system.
• A few bugs, including “bees”, “wasps”, “woodlice”, “snails” ,”what the heck was that, it was huge!” and the worst being “Oh no it’s in my hair, please, please somebody help me”
• Currently the entire system needs to be dismantled if the operator needs to carryout a system flush.
• Due to the open face nature of the system, distractions can be a common occurrence. The main current distractions being, “cats”, “dogs”, “little sisters” and the aptly named “ice-cream truck”.
• Not 100% moisture proof.

Even with these minor problems (which no doubt will be quickly sorted by the development team) the “G Hut” is a shining example of a innovative system which I can see becoming very popular in the coming months. Although I suspect interest may disappear once winter sets in.

Rendering

I’m sitting in the Rec area of the Computing block at Uni, sitting on a low seat and doing my coursework on my laptop. Currently rendering out the deathstar exploding and its going to take a while so I’m killing time.

I was down in the lab, but a combination of over-crowding, over-heating and over-number of questions from my programming group sent me upstairs, to where it is cool and the seats are soft.

With regards to the programming assigment, I kept having having the same conversation with people who came over to look at ours.

“Lets see your VB”

“OK”

“Ah class, that looks amazing, really nice interface”

“Yep”

“Lets see it running”

“um…ok”

“you got the code complete?”

“Well our exit button works, see!”

And that’s about all that works. Today I designed the interface, delegating the making of a banner image and icons to group members.

The module is a bit shambolic, it’s totally pointless and everyone including the Lab helps know it. Which is probably why for a brief time someone put up the code for the whole preoject on the computer hooked up to the data projectors.

A team member then dutyfully headed over and copied the code to her flash drive, code that has since proved to be less than useless. Gah

It’s bad enough to be badly taught programming, much worse when its outdated and uterlly useless to anyone on the course. The point I keep making is that anyone looking for a programmer is going to employee a programmer. They are not going to employee some IMD student who did a few VB tutorials as part of one module in first yeah.

Anyway this has rendered so rant over.

Ben Linus starting fights with the guards in Dublin

Spotted this headline at work today, thought the guy looked oddly familiar.

.

Well that explains the lack of Lost episodes lately, Ben Linus is in Ireland causing trouble.

Original story on BBC website.

SUN! And out comes the three quarter lengths!

Wooooo it’s sunny! This is the current view out my skylight.

Albeit a slightly over Photoshoped view, it looked fine until I re sized it. Anyway with the sun comes heat and with more heat comes over-heated uncomfortable, irritated Steve.

Don’t get me wrong I love good weather, I just cant cope with lots of heat. Even 28c has me walking around the house in a presoaked t-shirt. It hits over 30c and I take a fully clothed cold shower.

I did a silly

I had noticed recently that my car seemed to be handling a bit erratically, it always felt like I was driving in wind. As the car had been through MOT a few months ago and as Hyundai Accents are not known for good handling esp 10yr old ones.

The only good thing about the sedentary progress is that you’ll never know what a rotten handler your Accent is. But you will notice the ride, especially when you get the bill from your osteopath for a new spine.

-Jeremy Clarkson

Hmmm probably should have checked reviews before buying, explains my sore back.

I checked my tyres in case they were a bit flat, nope pressures all matched up. The problem was especially worse while driving back from Belfast last Friday, doing 80Mph 70Mph seemed to make it all that bit harder to keep the car on the road. I just assumed it was the crosswind on the motorway and a feeling of impending death was a perfectly normal motorway experience.

The following morning my father noticed my rear passenger tyre was flat and being a mechanicy type did a more thorough investigation than myself and discovered this.

“This” being a dirty big hole in my tyre about twice the size of a bottle cap with the supporting wires in the wheel coming through and the inner tubing visible. That and the whole area around it was bulging out.

I had driven on that for dear knows how many days and had driven at least 40miles at speed on the motorway with the wheel ready to throw me into the next life at any second. My poor guardian angel had his work cut out keeping me from killing myself.
Somehow this amuses me, I guess I have a rather comic mental image of car crashes.

Well thats the scary, I nearly died part over. The “I did a silly” bit is yet to come.

Obviously I couldn’t drive to Uni with the wheel like that so on Monday I decided I would have to somehow make it into the town to get the tyre replaced.
I used a foot-pump and pumped up the wheel and then timed how long it took to deflate. I worked out that if the hole didnt get any worse and if I stopped for a refill halfway I should be able to make it into the town with half the pressure left.

So the tyre was pumped up as much as I dared, threw the foot pump in the passenger footwell and headed off as fast as I asumed was safe (still managed to overtake a granda-go-slow).

Halfway there, just before I got to the main road I pulled up at the side of the road and hopped out to top up the tyre.

Pumped up the tyre, went to get back in the car.
Spotted this.

Oh dear I had locked the door, what a minor inconvience.

Reached into my pocket for the keys, they weren’t there.
Oh.
Oh I didn’t did I.
Not again!
Oh *~@&$!

Force of habit I had locked the door as I hopped out, but had left the keys in the ignition and the car running so I could leave quickly. ARGHHH!

I felt more of an idiot than this woman.

Thankfully we have a spare key at home, so I phoned my mother.

Hello.

Hello it’s me.

Stephen?

Yes it’s me Stephen!

Whats wrong.

Um I have a problem, I’m kinda stuck.

Did the wheel burst?

Well the wheel sorta caused it.

What happened? Did you have an accident, are you ok?!

No, no I’m fine. I just kinda locked myself out of the car.

What? How did you do that.

(explains how I did that)

Well there’s no-one here to drive the key over to you, hang on I’ll see what I can do.

Ok.

Bye

Bye.

So feeling somewhat like the injured guy in the good samaritain I stood around at the end of the road trying to appear inconspicuous to passers by.

A white van man drove past and stared at the stranded guy at the side of the road, but seeing he drove a Korean car looked away and drove on.

Two elderly ladies slowed down (or maybe they had always been driving at that speed) and looked out shaking their heads as they drove past.

A polish worker on a bicycle on his way home also passed by without comment.

A mother goose shooed her chicks to the other side of the road, for they feared those with beard.*

The stranded guy pretended to be on the phone.

Up ahead he saw a member of his church (we shall call her Margaret, for that is her name) and he was filled with hope. But as her car approached she gave a cheery wave and drove on, unaware of his plight.

The stranded guy pretended to be on the phone and pumped up the tyre again.

The phone rang.

Hello?

It’s me, i’m on my way I got a taxi.

Oh ok, great.

Bye.

Ten minutes later I was rescued by my mother and a taxi driver who was doing the worst attempt at not laughing I have seen in a long time. I gave him a cheery wave, as if to say “piff could happen to anyone”

Yeah.

*may have made this bit up.