So I headed into town yesterday with one purpose in mind. To buy a last minute present for someone. Little did I know the experience would leave me bleeding and last-minute-presentless.
I parked out of the town center so I wouldn’t get stuck in traffic and walked in and headed to the Tower Centre (HEY).
Needless to say, four days before Christmas and it was pretty busy and if you know me you know im not great in crowds. Popped into Jessops (used to work here) and said hello.
Found the present I was looking for at a stall in the main area of the centre. I bought a Medium sized Yankee Candle. Looked something like this.
—get to the point numpty boy!—
So after enduring the town I returned home with my precious cargo,making sure I didn’t hold the bag by the handles, instead craddling it in my arms.
Went into the kitchen, set the candle on the table not too near the edge because that just wouldn’t be smart.
Walked into the living leaving the candle unattended (this was the fatal error).
Just as I was taking my jacket off there came an almightly crash from the kitchen, I spun round just in time to see shards of glass come flying through the open door and then just to annoy me even further, the broken bottom of the glass jar slowly rolled into view.
Turns out my mother had broken the golden rule of Yankee Candles “DONT PICK IT UP BY THE LID” and now I was suffering the consequences.
Needless to say I wasn’t best pleased and my wee sister yelling over and over again that the glass would cut the dogs paw didn’t help.
I did the only thing manly option available to me, walked into the bathroom and shut the door. But alas my sister’s parting “goodbye grumpy” threw me over the edge and I punched a small model boat on our window sill.
Today I have five small cuts on my hand and the boat is ashes in the bottom of the fireplace and I’m waiting for my Mum to replace the candle.
Moral of the story? Don’t trust your Mother! On reflection im amazed I made it through childhood with so few scars.
Oh and Don’t punch model boats, they fight back.