SUN! And out comes the three quarter lengths!

Wooooo it’s sunny! This is the current view out my skylight.

Albeit a slightly over Photoshoped view, it looked fine until I re sized it. Anyway with the sun comes heat and with more heat comes over-heated uncomfortable, irritated Steve.

Don’t get me wrong I love good weather, I just cant cope with lots of heat. Even 28c has me walking around the house in a presoaked t-shirt. It hits over 30c and I take a fully clothed cold shower.

I did a silly

I had noticed recently that my car seemed to be handling a bit erratically, it always felt like I was driving in wind. As the car had been through MOT a few months ago and as Hyundai Accents are not known for good handling esp 10yr old ones.

The only good thing about the sedentary progress is that you’ll never know what a rotten handler your Accent is. But you will notice the ride, especially when you get the bill from your osteopath for a new spine.

-Jeremy Clarkson

Hmmm probably should have checked reviews before buying, explains my sore back.

I checked my tyres in case they were a bit flat, nope pressures all matched up. The problem was especially worse while driving back from Belfast last Friday, doing 80Mph 70Mph seemed to make it all that bit harder to keep the car on the road. I just assumed it was the crosswind on the motorway and a feeling of impending death was a perfectly normal motorway experience.

The following morning my father noticed my rear passenger tyre was flat and being a mechanicy type did a more thorough investigation than myself and discovered this.

“This” being a dirty big hole in my tyre about twice the size of a bottle cap with the supporting wires in the wheel coming through and the inner tubing visible. That and the whole area around it was bulging out.

I had driven on that for dear knows how many days and had driven at least 40miles at speed on the motorway with the wheel ready to throw me into the next life at any second. My poor guardian angel had his work cut out keeping me from killing myself.
Somehow this amuses me, I guess I have a rather comic mental image of car crashes.

Well thats the scary, I nearly died part over. The “I did a silly” bit is yet to come.

Obviously I couldn’t drive to Uni with the wheel like that so on Monday I decided I would have to somehow make it into the town to get the tyre replaced.
I used a foot-pump and pumped up the wheel and then timed how long it took to deflate. I worked out that if the hole didnt get any worse and if I stopped for a refill halfway I should be able to make it into the town with half the pressure left.

So the tyre was pumped up as much as I dared, threw the foot pump in the passenger footwell and headed off as fast as I asumed was safe (still managed to overtake a granda-go-slow).

Halfway there, just before I got to the main road I pulled up at the side of the road and hopped out to top up the tyre.

Pumped up the tyre, went to get back in the car.
Spotted this.

Oh dear I had locked the door, what a minor inconvience.

Reached into my pocket for the keys, they weren’t there.
Oh.
Oh I didn’t did I.
Not again!
Oh *~@&$!

Force of habit I had locked the door as I hopped out, but had left the keys in the ignition and the car running so I could leave quickly. ARGHHH!

I felt more of an idiot than this woman.

Thankfully we have a spare key at home, so I phoned my mother.

Hello.

Hello it’s me.

Stephen?

Yes it’s me Stephen!

Whats wrong.

Um I have a problem, I’m kinda stuck.

Did the wheel burst?

Well the wheel sorta caused it.

What happened? Did you have an accident, are you ok?!

No, no I’m fine. I just kinda locked myself out of the car.

What? How did you do that.

(explains how I did that)

Well there’s no-one here to drive the key over to you, hang on I’ll see what I can do.

Ok.

Bye

Bye.

So feeling somewhat like the injured guy in the good samaritain I stood around at the end of the road trying to appear inconspicuous to passers by.

A white van man drove past and stared at the stranded guy at the side of the road, but seeing he drove a Korean car looked away and drove on.

Two elderly ladies slowed down (or maybe they had always been driving at that speed) and looked out shaking their heads as they drove past.

A polish worker on a bicycle on his way home also passed by without comment.

A mother goose shooed her chicks to the other side of the road, for they feared those with beard.*

The stranded guy pretended to be on the phone.

Up ahead he saw a member of his church (we shall call her Margaret, for that is her name) and he was filled with hope. But as her car approached she gave a cheery wave and drove on, unaware of his plight.

The stranded guy pretended to be on the phone and pumped up the tyre again.

The phone rang.

Hello?

It’s me, i’m on my way I got a taxi.

Oh ok, great.

Bye.

Ten minutes later I was rescued by my mother and a taxi driver who was doing the worst attempt at not laughing I have seen in a long time. I gave him a cheery wave, as if to say “piff could happen to anyone”

Yeah.

*may have made this bit up.

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3 thoughts on “SUN! And out comes the three quarter lengths!

  1. I only wish I could have been the one delivering a key.

    Rest assured there would have been many people in the car, each with a camera to document the moment.

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